Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sandi Who?

Sometimes I worry that I will lose myself. Having lost myself before I know how subtle and trecherous that path can be. It is tiny little things here and there and next thing you know you turn around and you are not Sandi (or whatever your name might be) you are "so and so's mommy" You no pictures of yourself anywhere, only pictures of your child/children. Your significant other doesn't even call you by your own name anymore, or those cute pet are just "mommy" or "hun". Oh how I hate being called "hun"

But these are small things...the worst part about losing yourself is that your dreams no longer seem as important, your goals for yourself dont even exist to you anymore. You start to make friends with other mommies who all dress the same and all talk about their children and their husbands...they do not discuss thier hopes and dreams, how to juggle a child and a career or education, how to be a mommy and still be YOU...

it scares me.
I don't want to wake up one day and say "Sandi Who?"

Friday, May 29, 2009

Following in the spirit of the last post....

holy goodness....I'm gonna be a daddy.

I barely had enough energy for the move, and I didn't have to move the big stuff either. What in God's name am I going to do when I have a child who needs all the energy I have 29 hrs a day? *scared* Time for a change.

Sillily enough, I am hoping for a boy, but I only want a happy and healthy baby. Also, I hope our child isn't being sassy and not showing us what he's got....or not :)

I love the time Sandi and I spend together, and I know it's only going to get better with the inclusion of a little bundle of happiness :D

Week 17, Moving, Week 18 AHK!

I fell behind in my blogging. My excuse is a huge long exaughsting weekend of moving two households into one. My hubby and the furry herd and I moved into a big house with my mom and her furry herd. The move went well, but man I am still beat!
So far the furries are mingling...fairly well. There are certainly a few kinks to work out there. But the humans are getting along just fine =)

So week 17 should have been belly photos, I don't want to throw the schedule off though, so I will post photos again week 19 - who knows, by then there might be some change to see!

I'm feeling pretty good these days - aside from odd little aches here and there and being easily worn out, and lightheaded sometimes. Still have the food issues sadly. Oh mushrooms how I miss thee!

I had a check up last week. All is well...AND...I got a script for my BIG ultrasound! Tuesday June 2nd we get to find out if it is a boy or a girl! YEY!!! SOOOO EXCITED!!!
I also got a gentle lecture at my check up. I've already put on almost all the weight I am reccomended to put on for the entire pregnancy! Woops!
Some changes definitely need to be made - but honestly, I already new that.

So now, I am 18 weeks along. I feel fat. But for the most part I am in good spirits =D
I sometimes get freaked out still that I am so not ready to have a baby and be a mom. I just started getting used to being ME...I'm not sure I'm ready to add on another role...But it doesn't really matter if I am ready or not, because that baby will be arriving into our lives this October (or November) and I just have to be as ready as I can be.
A bit scary.

I think I am still hoping for a little girl. Though there are cute things about little boys too. I'll really just be excited to KNOW. Then we can find a name, and shop for cute gender specific things, and decorate the nursery! 

Oh oh oh! I have also started feeling little flutterings and the very occassional tiny, soft kick! Cool huh!? 

Wow...So...seriously...I am having a baby....

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Just Call Me Grumpy

I've been really cranky the last week or so...Not like constant grumpiness mind you - just easily aggitated and snippy on occassion.
I've also been a bit down.

I'm stressed and it's all gloomy out, so I am sure that doesn't help my mood.

The worst part of it is, it takes too much energy to be chipper, I want stay grumpy. How silly is that?

I don't feel like blogging anymore right now.
I think I felt the baby kick!

Monday, May 18, 2009


Sometimes I think that I can't get any luckier....
Sometimes I think that I've got the best thing in the world going for me...
Sometimes I feel things going the best...
Sometimes I feel your warm snuggly body...

Then I see your eyes and the love contained therein and I just forget all those things...
Because your eyes remind me all we've been through...
Sometimes I remember our past, the hurt and the struggle...
But then I see you...

(I'm thinking of writing a song, no theifing!)

I can't believe our life together, my Sandi. Sometimes you make me crazy, sometimes I do the same but I know that we're just crazy together because we're crazy in love with each other.

Be mine forever, because stalking forever is nowhere near as fun *grin*

I can't wait to show our baby (boy) how much we love each other and how much we are going to love him!

*sigh* (happiness is hard to find, unless I'm with you)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Ah Sweet Love

Happy Anniversary my Drew - I love you more than glitter!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

16 Weeks!

Now, according to all those places and people who did not consider me in my 2nd trimester at 14 weeks...I am officially and FINALLY in my 2nd trimester! I am 4 months pregnant! WOW! Only 5 to go!...OMG that is a little scary!

I saw this funny little comic on one of the pregnancy site I frequent:

I admit - it took me a minute to get it =P

Not much has changed the last few weeks. Still feeling mostly better with the occasional yucky moments, still have the same food issues.
I have a ton of people telling me they think I am having a boy - no offense to you boy sayers, but I hope you're all wrong ;)

Also...I am waiting for the next big pregnancy milestone - even bigger than THE Ultrasound - feeling the baby move consistantly...
Drew and I are both so excited about that one!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I Heart My Birth Center

Today I had my first official appointment at my new birth center. It was much more informative and personal than the other place. Also, not only did I get to hear my squirmy little baby's heartbeat, but Kaleen the nurse midwife, told me when the baby gave a little kick (I think I may have felt it too!) and I got to hear what the cord sounds like. Really cool!
They are so much more holistic and natural in their approach and I just really love it. I am so so so so so happy I didn't settle for something I was iffy about at best and checked out the place I should have gone to in the beginning - silly me thinking that a closer to home location was better than my gut feeling.

I go back in 2 week and after that I get to set up THE ultrasound! That's right...about 3 weeks and we get to know if it's a little girl or a little boy!!! Sooner than I expected too! I am so thrilled!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Crocodiles, baby feet, and cartoon seals oh my!

Pregnancy dreams are strange.
I've had a few weird ones, some funny ones, and one very upsetting one. I've also recently had a weird but super cool one.

I don't think I'll get into details here, simply because I don't want to weird anyone out with my bizarre dreams, but let's just say that the weirdness abounds where pregnancy is concerned, and that is very true of the dream world as well.

I have read that pregnant women can have some odd dreams - I had no idea...

I should probably write them down. I love any excuse for a new notebook! =D

The Belly - Week 15

Not much change from two weeks ago.
Though, I have had two people touch my belly and a few others comment that I look pregnant. This was all people who already know I am pregnant...but I wonder if it is starting to look like a baby belly now?
It just looks the same to me. Bummer.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

15 Weeks - I heart the apple

I am now 15 weeks pregnant. Wow! In just a few more weeks I'll be able to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! I can't seriously...I can not wait! It's making me crazy!

I have read that the baby is now the size of an apple. How cool!

I was told in the ladies restroom today that I am glowing. How does frumpy outfit and frizzy hair = glow? I graciously said "Are we looking at the same person?" my friend laughed and said "Yup, you are definitely pregnant!" So glad I amuse LOL*

Today at school they had a little celebration for student mothers. I was told I qualify to was celebrated!!!
It was pretty cool...but SO weird when people wished me a "Happy Mother's Day".
I had this big gift bag with goodies in it and a huge "Mother's Day" balloon tied to it, so when I left work today a bunch of the people I work with were saying "Have a great weekend! Happy Mother's Day" I smiled and said thank you of course...but it really felt so so so weird.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How old am I?

Last I checked I was 28, but apperently some people think I am about 17 - a teenager in trouble, and not a very smart one at that.

So I am standing in the hallway of DeVry outside of a friend's office, and a Dean is in with her. They are having a grand old time, always nice to see...My mom starts talking to the Dean, and my friend looks at my belly and smiles, making a comment about it being rounder. I joke that I think it still looks like I ate too many Swiss Rolls. This has her laughing ofcourse. Now everyone is listening as I say "And it's really not fair because I have the Swiss Roll belly without having actually enjoyed any Swiss Rolls". This has my friend laughing more. The Dean chimes in with "You shouldn't eat Swiss Rolls, they are bad for the baby." My friend says "Oh yes, all that partially hydroginated..." I say "Oh no, Swiss Rolls are great, and all the creamy goodness and chocolate..." The Dean says, "No, she definitely should not eat that, no dark chocolate either." My friend responds with "But, a piece of chocolate?" The Dean says "Sure, a small bite occasialy, she could do that"
Notice how they are no longer talking TO me?
I pipe in with
"She's actually doing pretty good with the eating...really"
My friend laughs again and says jokingly "Lets talk about her as if she's not here!"
Thank goodness atleast someone caught on to that.

Mom and I left.
And I took a deep breath to keep from getting completely pissed, especially since at this point I was starving.
We got in the car and I said. "I can eat Swiss Rolls if I damn well please!"

This is not the first time the Dean has forgotten that I am a grown woman, perfectly capable of making my own decisions, not to mention good ones.
Can't eat chocolate? Are you freaking kidding me?
I wasn't even going to go into the studies about happy babies coming from women who ate chocolate while pregnant.

And all this talk of Swiss Rolls...I really do want to eat them...right in front of her! maybe I am 17...